The Joan Rivers Collection
“I don’t excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.”
“I hate housework! You make the beds, you wash the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again”
“I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”
“I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.”
“Don’t tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won’t respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, ‘Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.’.”
“I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I`d look like without plastic surgery.”
